Whether you’re working to overcome imposter syndrome, build your confidence, or on another personal pursuit, you’ll have to spend a lot of time working through your thoughts, emotions, and mindset. While these activities are important, they can feel lonely sometimes. Even when you’re not working on improving something specific, having a personal support network you can turn to is enormously helpful.
Especially after the pandemic and ensuing lockdowns, many people are feeling more isolated than ever. That’s also why it’s as important as ever to reach out and strengthen your network. If you don’t feel like you have a strong support system right now, that’s okay. In addition to covering the value of a strong support network, we’ll dig into strategies you can use to strengthen your existing relationships and begin new ones.
Why build a personal support network?
It’s important to have a group of people you trust in your life. Whether you’re looking for help in personal growth, advice from others who have been there, or just someone who gets it, having a personal support network ensures you’ll always have someone to turn to.
The benefits of having a social network to rely on are backed by science. Studies show mental health is positively impacted by strong social support.
What does a healthy support network look like?
Having a strong personal support network isn’t just about growing closer with your friends from school. A healthy support network needs to meet a few requirements.
- It shouldn’t consist of all family or all friends from one source. Make sure your network includes individuals from diverse backgrounds, with different goals, in different stages of their life.
- You should feel heard, appreciated, loved, and valued. Your support system shouldn’t belittle you or make you feel worse about yourself.
- A strong support system will hold you accountable for your mistakes and help you work toward your goals.
- You should feel comfortable talking to your support network about what you’re going through and reaching out when you need help. Similarly, you should be comfortable supporting others in your network when they need it. Both of these can be difficult to do. If you’re struggling to ask for help, this article from The Entrepreneur can help.
How can I build a support network?
It’s okay if you don’t feel like you have an incredibly strong personal support network right now. No matter where you are in life, you can begin to foster invaluable connections.
Foster Current Relationships
First and foremost, take a look at your existing relationships. If you haven’t spoken to someone in a few years, don’t assume you still know them. Reach out and get to know who they are now. You may find opportunities to reignite relationships or you may find that you’ve grown to be different over time. Being a good friend takes effort. It’s important to push yourself to be a great companion to those you value. Oftentimes, obligations get in the way, but if you want to live life with a lot of friendships and good relationships, you have to put in the work.
With anyone you want to have an ongoing relationship with, it’s important to open up and be vulnerable. Sticking to surface-level conversations and small talk won’t forge a deeper relationship. You need to share your fears, dreams, and other emotions and listen to your friends’ feelings as well.
As you’re first beginning to build a support network, it can be difficult to accept help. If you’re used to handling things on your own, it may feel uncomfortable to have someone offer to support you. However, people are more likely to want to continue providing support if you’re receptive to their help. Along the same lines, demonstrate gratitude when your friends do help you out and in general. Your support network should feel like you value their presence in your life (just like you should feel the same).
If you want people to show up when you need support, you need to do the same for them. When a friend reaches out to you for help or is going through a difficult time, make an effort to support them however you can. Sometimes, your friends may be struggling and not say anything. It’s important to be proactive and offer to help even when someone doesn’t ask. Sometimes asking “How are you?”, really listening to their answer, and asking clarifying questions make all the difference. However, always be sure to respect their boundaries and provide space when requested.
Meet New People
As a kid, it’s easy to be friends with whoever you go to school with. After all, you’re spending hours together every single day. However, as you get older, relationships need to be based on more than just convenience and take a lot more work.
Start by making time for your interests. Investing in what you love doing, and surrounding yourself with others who enjoy the same things is a great strategy for finding new friends. You can also build great relationships with your coworkers, who can relate to many of the same things you deal with.
It can be intimidating to put yourself out there. If you’re more on the introverted side, you may find comfort in meeting new people online. Join forums and groups for your interests and hobbies. You can also use apps like Bumble BFF to find new friends.
It’s a great idea to connect with individuals who are on the same path as you. If you’re working through something like imposter syndrome, building confidence, or even addiction, it can help to befriend others who are also working through those challenges or have been there before. That way, you can work together to hold each other accountable and support each other in your growth.
Build Your Personal Support System
Building a support system takes time. It’s important to focus on building long-term relationships of mutual benefit, not transactional or one-sided relationships. Over time, it’s likely that your support network will change. Some friends may leave your life and you’re likely to meet new people through new experiences. Be open to change and appreciate how each relationship can benefit both of you at certain times in your life.
Begin Your Growth Journey with a Community of Peers
NextSelf is a personal development app that helps you become your best self. Take courses on topics like Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Finding Purpose right from your phone. Lessons take only 3-7 minutes to complete each day and are accompanied by practice activities and community support to keep you motivated. Sign up for the NextSelf beta to begin your growth journey.