The last eighteen months have been full of uncertainty and fear for nearly everyone. From fear of the virus, to fear of losing loved ones, fear of where your next paycheck will come from, and, yes, even fear of running out of toilet paper, emotions have been running rampant for nearly two years.
Fear has been a natural human emotion as long as we’ve lived. Long ago, fear kept us safe from predators or dangerous weather. Today, however, you may find that your feelings of fear are more of a nuisance than a source of protection.
What does fear feel like?
Fear isn’t just an emotion — it’s a physical response to a perceived danger. When you start to feel afraid, your mind triggers a series of reactions in your body. In preparation for fight or flight, your body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and starts pumping blood faster throughout your body.
When you feel you’re in danger, you may start to experience:
- Sweaty palms
- Increased heart rate
- Shortened breath
- Churning stomach (You may suddenly need to go to the bathroom or throw up and it will likely be hard to eat)
- Tense muscles
- Confusion or dizziness making it hard to focus on anything else
These are all natural reactions so that your body focuses on the problem at hand to get you out of danger safely. However, sometimes you’ll feel fear when you’re not in physical danger. You also may struggle to calm back down and return to normal after a burst of fear. Living in constant fear can have serious health consequences, including impacting your physical health, impairing long-term memory, disrupting brain processing, and inducing clinical depression.
What’s the difference between fear and anxiety?
Fear and anxiety can feel similar. They’re both typically accompanied by an increased heart rate, sweating, and an overall feeling of dread. The key difference between the two is that anxiety is a generalized feeling, tied to an often unknown internal conflict or threat. Meanwhile, fear is caused by a known external danger.
While these emotions are different, they are often intertwined. When you begin to feel afraid of something specific, your overall anxiety is likely to increase as well.
Why do I feel afraid when I’m not in danger?
Fear is an evolutionary response we as humans have developed to keep ourselves out of danger that may threaten our lives or wellbeing. Unfortunately, sometimes you may feel afraid when you’re not in any danger. This can happen for a number of reasons. Often when you’re trying something new, a feeling of uncertainty can leave you feeling scared since you aren’t sure what will happen next. Other times, your brain may perceive threats from otherwise harmless situations, triggering your fear response.
How can I overcome my fears?
Your feelings of fear may feel all-encompassing and inescapable in the moment. However, with practice and time, you can work to overcome your fears and live a fulfilling life.
- Take a Short Break
While taking a short break is not a long-term solution to overcoming your fears, it can help you calm down and stabilize your emotions when your fight or flight senses kick in. Visualize your “happy place”. Think about something that puts you at peace, like being on the beach or curling up with your favorite book. You can also try thinking through or making a list of things you’re grateful for.
- Weather the Storm
Instead of avoiding your feelings of fear, ride them out. Allow yourself to breathe through your feelings and begin to work through them. Let yourself feel afraid for ninety seconds. Take the emotion in and live through it before trying to react and move forward. After ninety seconds, you can begin to use make rational decisions and make choices to move forward.
The first step to overcoming your fear is understanding it. Learn more about your fear and why you’re feeling the way you are. Take the time to face your emotions and think through why they may be happening. Write down your feelings and take note of what is causing them. Analyzing your fears in writing or out loud forces you to question and dig in on why you may be afraid.
This usually isn’t comfortable. Just exploring your fears can bring those emotions to the surface, but the only way to work through your feelings is by first analyzing and understanding them.
- Evaluate the Facts
Sometimes, fear can come from a lack of information on the thing you fear. For example, if you’re scared of spiders, you may find comfort in learning that on average, only six people die as a result of venomous spider bites annually. Like being horror-scream-scared of spiders, some fears are just unnecessary.
- Consider the Future
If you let your fear right now keep you from taking a risk or exploring a new opportunity, where will you be in ten years? What about if you do take the risk or venture into uncharted territory? If you’re scared of public speaking and you never capitalize on any opportunities to present in public, you may miss out on valuable opportunities to get a promotion at work and share your thoughts with the world. Meanwhile, if you do take advantage of opportunities to speak publicly, you have the potential to reach your goals. Instead of asking what happens when I fail, ask yourself what happens if I succeed. What are the doors I might open if I just show up?
- Talk to Someone You Trust
While writing about your fears can help, sometimes it is beneficial to talk to someone you trust. A close friend or a therapist can provide a much-needed perspective that’s key to working toward your fears. You may also find that someone you look up to has also experienced similar fears in the past and they can share their experiences working through them.
- Appreciate the Fear that Comes with Growth
Change can be scary! Think about the last time you did something new. You may have been pretty excited, but there was likely a small part of you that felt a certain level of fear and uncertainty. For example, going to college. It’s exciting to meet new people and explore campus, but it’s also scary to be away from home for the first time. By the time you’re in your late twenties, you’ll likely look back at your college years fondly, without even remembering that initial fear you faced.
The same is true for all stages of growth in life. While they’re uncomfortable at first, you have to push through to see the benefits.
- Start Small
When you avoid things you’re scared of, you allow yourself to remain afraid. Oftentimes, the things we’re scared of most, like socializing with new people or trying out a new activity, we end up truly enjoying.
Even if it’s difficult, start by taking small steps. As you gradually face your fears and realize you’re not in any danger, you’ll be able to slowly begin overcoming them. If you’re scared to speak in public, start with giving a speech to just one person you already know and trust. Then, speak at a small gathering of close friends. Progress to more and more advanced steps as you handle each prior challenge.
As you progress, you may find you love the activity you were once scared of. However, you may also find you still don’t enjoy it. Either way, by facing your fears, you’ll be able to learn that you’re not in any real danger.
- Celebrate Your Wins
Congratulate yourself for the courage you’ve displayed. It can be terrifying to face your fears! Many people put off doing so as long as possible. Celebrate with your support network when you’re able to work through obstacles and reward yourself for your achievements.
Work Through Your Fears with NextSelf
NextSelf helps you work through challenges in your life with daily guided practice. Courses on Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Finding Purpose help you achieve new goals in your life and overcome obstacles with lessons and activities you can complete right from your phone. Sign up to become an early user of NextSelf and begin overcoming your fears.